Hey internet people.  Rufus here.  Mom and Dad went away and left us home alone.  My guess is that they think we’re doing a lot of this:

I think not.  What fun would being home alone be if we just did what we always do?  Obviously we are smart enough to get out the computer and type up this post, so clearly we are smart enough to have all sorts of home alone fun.  (OK, I am smart enough.  Kaya’s just the sidekick.)

Just what are we up to?  C’mon, internet people.  Do you think I’m stupid enough to post what we’re up to here so that my mom can read it when she comes home?  You know me better than that.

I’ve decided to do an interview for your reading pleasure.  I wanted to e-mail someone exciting, but since I’m stuck here with Kaya…

Rufus:  Kaya, tell me, what are your thoughts on climate change?

Kaya:  Is that lady coming to feed me soon?  I’m hungry.  Is mommy coming to feed me soon?

Rufus:  Right, but our readers would really like to hear your thoughts on climate change?

Kaya:  Let’s go find some biscuits!

Rufus:  The biscuits are on the other side of the baby gate.  We’re tearing that down later tonight.  Seriously, Kaya,what can you tell our readers about cleaning up the environment.

Kaya:  You like to eat poop.

Rufus:  True.  Very true.  Let’s try a new topic, shall we?

Kaya:  Is “topic” a type of biscuit?

Rufus:  No.  Can you give our readers a brief justification of the ontological necessity of modern man’s existential dilemma?

Kaya:  Why, yes I can.

Rufus:  No you can’t.  You don’t even know what ontological means!

Kaya:  Ontology, in philosophy is the study of the nature of being, existence or reality in general, as well as of the basic categories of being and their relations. Traditionally listed as a part of the major branch of philosophy known as metaphysics, ontology deals with questions concerning what entities exist or can be said to exist, and how such entities can be grouped, related within a hierarchy, and subdivided according to similarities and differences.

Rufus: …I’m going to go lick the couch for a while.

Kaya:  Thanks, wikipedia!  Now, someone come over here and rub my belly!

Be sure to visit our other puppy friends to see what sort of shenanigans they are getting into — Smalls, Ben, Bailey, & Daisy

Today’s guest post is brought to you by the fabulous Elizabeth from The Spotted Ottoman.  Thanks for taking care of the blog while I’m gone, Elizabeth!

Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while knows that Erin is a teacher. I am surrounded by educators–my parents and grandmother are both in the business, so I thought I would write something related.

I am hard of hearing, which means that I had the dubious blessing of wearing an FM system in class while growing up. The FM system was an ordinary thing for me, but for my classmates it was magical. In my first years of school, I was unsure of how to leverage it socially, but as the years went on, it definitely used it for social props.

For those of you who don’t know, an FM system allows a student to hear a teacher with less difficulty. I had a really good system that allowed me to hear the teacher even when she was pretty far away from me. This led to some interesting opportunities for me. The earliest moment I remember was in elementary school. The teacher stepped out of the room to make copies or something. We students did what we did best: got out of the chairs and partied like there was no tomorrow. I left the FM turned on, and as the teacher got closer to the room, there was static, then I heard definite footsteps, so I warned my classmates, and we all sat immediately in our chairs as though we hadn’t budged. Angels, right? From that point on, I was the designated ‘warner,’ so we were all able to have a jolly time without the stress of being busted.

Moving on. Even grown-ups have to go to the bathroom, right? You probably know where this is going. The teacher would leave for a few minutes to use the bathroom, and I would cringe and squirm upon hearing every little noise, never even thinking to turn off the FM. My classmates would notice my discomfort (I may have been a little too melodramatic with the cringing) and deduce what was happening. The teacher would come back to the room greeted by rollicking laughter, and then she would cringe after realizing what had just happened. Awkward much?

Do you remember how teachers would step out of the room with a troublemaker to discipline? Yeah? Well, I was privy to many of those conversations over the years, and, by extension, so were my classmates. They were always a riot because no one ever took the disciplining seriously–everyone knew the teacher’s script by the time it was their turn.

It wasn’t always easy being the one who couldn’t hear very well, but the rare opportunities to exploit it went a long way toward making up for it all!

What are some moments from your elementary years that shine in your memory?

I guess really you should say that to me…

I am leaving for our cruise in the wee hours of tomorrow morning.  We’re heading out at 3 a.m. to get to my parents house.  Then it’s on to the airport!  I’ll be back (hopefully with an extra person) on January 10th.  Try not to miss me too much while I’m gone…and try not to post too much!  I shudder to think of what my reader will be like when I get back!

In the meantime, enjoy some excellent guest posts from some of my readers!

With all the time I’ve spent cleaning up for my in-laws (who are coming over tonight) and getting ready for our cruise, I nearly forgot that it was New Year’s Eve.  Luckily, in my breaks I hang out on the internet, so I caught up pretty quickly.

Truth be told, I am glad to see 2008 go.  This year started out strong, but once we hit the Fall, things quickly took a nasty turn.  We’ve had two very sick parents and a whole mess of other rottenness to deal with.  So, I bid 2008 adieu and look instead to the excitement that will be 2009.

I’m not really a resolutions person, but here’s what I’m hoping to do/accomplish is 2009:

• Read, read, read.
• Finish my knitting projects.
• Become an RDI consultant.
• Attend BlogHer.
• Grow my little therapy business.
• Take over the internet with Rachel and Renee.
• Write more picture books.
• Keep my house cleaner.
• Become a mommy.

It’s going to be a busy, but fabulous year.  Here’s hoping that your 2009 is everything you want it to be!

It’s no secret that Ted and I are trying to get pregnant.  I am so ready to have a baby, and I am determined to get knocked up while we are on our cruise.  So, being the anal, anxious, type-A girl that I am, I have been scouring the internet for tips/advice/information on how to best make my baby dreams come true.  Here’s what I’ve found so far:

• Have sex every day to increase your chances of getting pregnant.
• Have sex every other day to increase your chances of getting pregnant.
• Have sex in the morning when sperm are most potent.
• Have sex in the evening when sperm are most potent.
• Don’t pee after sex.
• It makes no difference if you pee after sex.
• Lay on your back for 30 minutes after sex.
• It makes no difference if you lay on your back after sex.
• Have sex 2-3 days before you ovulate to have a girl, and have sex on the day you ovulate to have a boy.
• Use eggs whites as a lubricant.
• Don’t use eggs whites as a lubricant.  (Do people really do that?  Sounds nasty to me!)

Basically, what I’ve learned from my internet research is that it’s a miracle that anybody gets pregnant, this advice isn’t going to do me any good, and that some people use egg whites as a personal lubricant.

Ted was really sick on Sunday.  Fever.  Vomiting.  Not cool.  Luckily, Rufus knows just how to heal what ails you — get your sister and sit on top of Daddy until he feels better!

I’m sure Ted appreciates me posting this attractive photo of him on the internet.  Here’s hoping he gets better soon!  We have cruising to do!

Be sure to visit our other puppy friends to see how they take care of their parents — Smalls, Ben, Bailey, & Daisy

Dear Kaya,

I just want to say, in advance, that I’m really sorry about leaving you for seven days.  A very nice lady is going to come over and feed you, pet you, and even take you on walks.  I know that you will be very sad and worried, but I promise that I am coming back.  When I get back, you can sit on top of me for as long as you want, and I promise to rub your belly for hours.  Please don’t lick your paw for the whole seven days.  Rufus will be home with you too, so big mommy’s big girl and look after your little brother.  I’ll be thinking about you every single day that I’m gone!

Love,

Mommy

I am finally getting around to blogging about Christmas.  It was a fairly uneventful and quiet Christmas.  We didn’t see as many people as we normally do since we are leaving for a big family cruise on Saturday.  Here’s what went down this Christmas:

On Christmas Eve, we went to my dad’s house for some tasty roast beast.

My baby sister and I on Christmas Eve.

My brother tried on his traditional Christmas pajamas.  We all got matching penguin pajamas this year, since we are going on a cruise to hunt for Caribbean penguins.

Look!  A shot of my boobs!  Thanks, Ted.

Christmas Kisses!

We spent Christmas Day at my mom’s house.  I invented a great game involving a piece of wrapping paper to keep my nephew entertained.  This is shortly before he smacked me in the face as hard as he could…then the game turned into “Let’s see how hard we can hit Aunt Erin and laugh while no one disciplines me.”  That was fun.

Ted and I on Christmas.

Yay for my new laptop sleeve!

So, that was our Christmas in a nutshell.  We didn’t see my in-laws because they went out of town again and were generally being lame.  Oh well.

Now that Christmas is over, I’m just counting the minutes until we leave for our cruise!

I remember the joy of believing in Santa when I was a child.  I remember my dad pointing out Rudolph’s nose lighting up the night sky on Christmas Eve.  I remember being too excited to sleep, yet somehow sleeping anyway.  I remember waking up on Christmas morning with my stocking at the foot of my bed (really a clever move by my parents to keep us kids in bed a little bit longer).  I remember sitting at the top of the stairs with my brother, the anticipation growing, while my dad set up the video camera downstairs.  In our house, Santa didn’t wrap the presents, and there was something truly magical in that moment when I was still on the stairs but could see the pile of gifts from Santa.

I was in fourth grade when I learned the truth about Santa Claus.  I went to a friend’s house after school one day, shortly before Christmas.  I don’t even know how Santa came up, but I remember very clearly her saying to me, “You don’t really still believe in Santa, do you?”  And she laughed.  I laughed too, “Of course I don’t.”  But the truth was, I did still believe.

Did I still believe that a man in a sleigh with magical reindeer flew around the world delivering gifts to all the world’s children in just one night?  Well, not really.  But, I also didn’t believe that Santa was an elaborate ruse thought up by parents.  I still believed in…something…but I wasn’t sure just what it was.

I went home and talked to my dad.  If anyone would know the truth about Santa, it was my dad.  Dad told me that my friend was wrong.  There was such a person as Santa Claus.  No, he didn’t fly around in a magical sleigh on Christmas Eve, but he had been a very real person.  That was the day that I learned about Saint Nicholas.  He was a protector of children and had a reputation for secret gift-giving, thus he became the role model for Santa Claus.

So, yes, at 28 years of age, I still believe in Santa Claus.  I believe in the power of giving to those we love and to those in need.  I believe in the power of one person to make a difference in the lives of many.  I believe in the magic of Christmas, and I cannot wait to share the story of Santa Claus and Saint Nicholas with my own children.

Merry Christmas!

I’ve already documented how much Rufus loves the snow, so today I thought I’d tell you about his new favorite thing about winter.

Not only is it cold and snowy, but some very tasty treats can be found out in the backyard.  Friends, I am talking about poopsicles.  Yes, poopsicles.  Rufus has taken to snacking on frozen poo whenever he is outside.  No, I did not take a picture of my dog eating frozen poo.

The past few days here have been absolutely freezing.  Rufus generally doesn’t mind the sub-zero temperatures, but throw in the wind and he wants nothing to do with being outside.  Nothing, that is, except for his poopsicles.  But, how to eat them if they are outside where it’s windy?

Rufus is a clever dog, and he quickly came up with a solution:   Ask to go out.  Collect poopsicles.  Ask to come in.

Needless to say, he was not allowed in the mouth with a mouth full of frozen dog poo.

What do our other puppy friends love about the winter weather?  Smalls, Ben, Bailey, & Daisy