That first picture is my 11 Week belly.  Remember when I thought that was a bump?  Things have changed a bit!

So, here we are at 32 weeks, and it seems like the countdown has begun.  While we are hopeful that with bed rest and medication that the girls will stay put for at least another month, we also are extremely aware that they could show up anytime now.  For both Ted and I, this pregnancy has gone from surreal to very real in just a few short days.  We are scrambling to make sure everything is set up and ready for the girls, and we also express the following sentiments quite frequently…

“Ummmm, we are going to have two babies.”

“So, the babies are going to live here.  Like, they are going to live in our house.“

“Are you freaking out?  Because I’m freaking out a little.”

I just can’t believe that the girls are going to be here so soon.  I am so, so, so excited to meet them.  I’m also completely terrified.  Our lives are never going to be the same.  It’s a bit overwhelming!

How Far Along: 32 Weeks, 3 Days.  Most sets of twins are born around 34 weeks.  I just can’t believe how close we are to meeting these girls!

How Big are the Babies: Ummm, huge.  At least, they feel huge.  My uterus is currently measuring at 39 weeks, and it basically goes from my cervix to right up under my breasts.  Don’t tell me how tiny it is because I literally can’t breath because it’s crushing my lungs!  This week, the girls are each the size of a large jicama.  I don’t even know what that means.  Basically, they each weigh about 3.75 pounds and are 16.7 inches long.  No wonder I can’t breath!  I have another growth scan next week to check their official weight.

Total Weight Gain: I weighed in at 151 pounds at the OB yesterday.  I’m up 23 pounds since we got pregnant.

Maternity Clothes: Yeah, I don’t even get dressed anymore.  I’m on bed rest here people.  I just wear the same ratty tank top and pajama shorts all day long.

Stretch Marks: Nope.

Sleep: Well, I certainly sleep better at home than I did in the hospital!  Still, I have to get up all night long to pee.  Plus, I have two alarms that go off at 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. so I can take my medication to keep my contractions under control.  Yuck.

Movement: LOTS of movement.  It’s actually becoming fairly uncomfortable.  The girls like to roll around on my bladder and kick my cervix.  Ouch.

Food Cravings: Lately, I really like to eat food in bar form.  I’m completely obsessed with NutriGrain bars…which I actually hated prior to my pregnancy.  I also adore Luna protein bars, Kashi bars, and Special K bars.  I’m still on a huge fruit kick as well, and I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten my weight in cherries this summer.

What I Miss: Right now, what I miss most is being at work.  After a very quiet summer, I was so looking forward to having some professional interactions before the girls came.  I also miss juice, which I’m not allowed to have due to my gestational diabetes.  I cannot wait to drink a giant glass of juice after the girls are born.

What I’m Looking Forward To: Meeting my girls!  I just cannot wait to see their little faces, to hold them, to smell them.  BUT, I don’t want to meet them just yet!  Let’s hang around a while longer, girls.  Remember, you are supposed to stay put for 2 more months!

Milestones: We had our first trip to Labor & Delivery last week!  That was…not really a whole lot of fun.  I’ve also reached that most wonderful right of passage for many twin pregnancies — bed rest.  I’m on modified bed rest, so I can still get up and move around the house.  I don’t have to lay in bed all day, but I do have to stay off of my feet.  Not horrible, but not a whole lot of fun either.

Twin Stuff: Ted is working hard to finish up the nursery for the girls.  Personally, I think it looks amazing!  I promise there will be pictures just as soon as it’s all finished.

Dog Stuff: The dogs also got to practice having a baby last week with us being gone for 2 nights.  Now, Kaya is even more glued to my side than ever.  I keep trying to explain to her that I’m fine, but she was a little freaked out about my absence!

Labor Watch: I spent two nights in the hospital last week for pre-term labor.  I was having contractions every 2-5 minutes, but my cervix remained closed.  I’m home now, on bed rest, and taking medication to control my contractions.  I am still having contractions throughout the day, but they are very sporadic.  My cervix remains high, long, thick, and closed.  All good things.  I can keep contracting for weeks as long as my cervix doesn’t change.  I have been blessed with an extremely awesome cervix!

Oh, and THIS: I feel like I had about 15 things to list here, but now I can’t remember any of them.  Oh well.  I need to get a nap in now, so I’ll just do that instead!

Tomorrow should be my first day back at work after summer vacation, but it’s not.

Tomorrow I will be sitting at home, resting up with my girls.

Tomorrow I won’t get to put on a cute new outfit and see all the people I’ve missed all summer.

Tomorrow I won’t get to sit through boring meetings while being filled with excitement about my students’ starting next week.

Tomorrow I won’t get to call families and introduce myself or scramble to set up my room.

Tomorrow I will miss the first day of school.

Tomorrow I won’t get to be a teacher.

In case it’s not clear, I’m incredibly sad about this.  I love my job.  Really.  I psychotically love my job, and I’m a bit broken up about missing the start of the school year.  I have been looking forward to professional interactions, meeting families, and awkward little preschooler hugs all summer.  It just feels so strange to think that this year is starting without me.  I feel a bit like I’m stuck in time while the rest of the world keeps turning.  It’s odd.

Now, obviously, I am very happy to stay home and do what is best for my girls.  I hope it’s understood that I’m not implying in any way that I’d rather risk their health than stay home.  My girls are my number one priority…but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel sad about missing out on something I’m so passionate about.

Since I literally slept for maybe an hour cumulatively last night, you can just read my tweets to get caught up on the events of the past night…

Looks like it’s contraction time again. Time to lay down for a bit. (No, I’m not in labor.)

Ugh. Still having contractions. Looks like I’m calling the doctor.

I’m totally going to end up having to go to the hospital, which means I will miss having Chinese food with my dad tonight. Grrrrrr.

Off to the hospital we go. Don’t get excited…I am not in labor. Just one of the joys of carrying multiples.

Settled in. Waiting for doctor. Drugs stopped contractions. Sucks here.

Spending the night at the hospital. Suck fest.

Literally every appendage I have is hooked up to a machine. Plus three monitors on my belly.

Oh, and I have two blown veins that hurt like a bitch. Isn’t this fun?

I am very cranky. I hate being here.

It is impossible to sleep in a hospital.

Awake again. I cannot get comfortable at all.

Twitter is not very exciting at 4 am.

Watching Harry Potter while Ted sleeps. So glad there is a DVD player here.

Also, I think someone should buy me an iPad. Just sayin…

Finally fell asleep for 20 minutes and had to be woken up to check my blood sugar. Mean.

Been having contractions all night long.  This does not bode well for me going home.

So, there you have it.  Yes, I’m in the hospital.  Yes, I’m having contractions.  No, I’m not dilated…at least I wasn’t last night.  I will update this post as I have more news, so if you want news, check here or Twitter.

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Update at 10:30 a.m. — I am still having contractions every 2-5 minutes.  They are not painful, just uncomfortable.  My cervix is still completely closed.  I saw my OB this morning, and he is not really concerned.  At this point in a twin pregnancy, regular contractions are to be expected.  So long as the contractions are not productive, I just get to live with them.  I will also be seeing maternal-fetal medicine sometime today.  They will give more input on whether or not I can go home tonight and what the bed rest situation will be from here on out.  The earliest I will get to leave the hospital is 9 p.m. tonight after I get my second steroid shot to mature the girls’ lungs.

Update on Thursday 3/19, 10:00 a.m. — Well, I finally get to go home!  I did manage to get a bit of sleep last night thanks to taking a sleeping pill.  I managed to go my whole pregnancy without taking anything besides my thyroid meds and prenatal vitamins…and now I’m chock full of all sorts of drugs.  Still, I get to go home, my babies are healthy, so I don’t care.  I’m still having some contractions, but they are irregular and have slowed down significantly.  They are not painful, just noticeable.  I will continue to take medications to keep the contractions under control until about 35 weeks.  I’m on modified bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy…so no going back to work for me.  I can still get up and move around the house and I’m allowed to do things like go out to dinner.  I just need to spend the majority of my time off of my feet.  That’s all the news for now.  Thank you all for your thoughts and well-wishes.  I probably won’t be responding to comments on this post because I really need to catch up on my rest, but I want you to know that your support really made a crappy situation so much better!

Exactly one year ago today, I posted this photo…

While I had already starting writing a bit about our infertility journey, this was my first foray into posting about the horrific, painful, and raw emotions that often accompany infertility.  I posted the picture because I just couldn’t get the words out.  Describing that kind of emotion isn’t easy.  Still, it was a definitely a turning point for my blog and for myself.  It was the point when I decided that I wasn’t going to keep quiet about what I was going through.  Sure, it might be ugly.  Sure, it would make some people uncomfortable.  But I needed to talk about it.  And so it began.

There was infertility testing, surgery, drugs and injections, four IUIs, and then two babies.  I wrote about it all, and I kept taking pictures.  I came to find that being open about my infertility was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Now here we are, exactly one year later, dealing with a whole new set of often indescribable emotions.  Some of those painful infertility feelings still pop up from time to time.  I’m honestly not sure they will ever completely go away…and I’m not sure that I really want them to.  Still, anticipating the arrival of our two baby girls, the picture has changed quite a bit.

For those of you who aren’t on twitter…

I GOT MY JOB BACK!!!!!!

I promise to post something legitimate again soon, but for now?  Well, I need a nap!

I haven’t written about my job since the Spring, but there are now two weeks until school starts, and I’m still in the middle of a major suckfest.  To catch you up a little bit, approximately 17,000 teachers in Illinois lost their jobs this past Spring.  This is largely due to the fact that the state can’t pay it’s bills.  My district is owed millions of dollars that we will likely never see.  My district had to let go hundreds of teachers and staff.

Now, I don’t want to rehash the complicated details of my teaching situation or how seniority works in our district.  This post would be a mile long, and you would probably still be scratching your head.  Let me just say that it’s all very stupid and doesn’t make a bit of sense.  But, here’s a little run down of what’s going on with my job and currently stressing me out…

• Thankfully, I do have a job for this coming school year.  Unfortunately, it’s not my job.  Right now, I have a position teaching general education Kindergarten.  Now, I haven’t taught general education since I was an undergraduate.  I did student teach Kindergarten…but it was in a tiny town in central Illinois.  It’s not that I think that teaching Kindergarten would be a bad job, it’s just not the job I want or love.
• My fabulous job that I love with the fire of a thousand suns currently belongs to another early childhood teacher who has more seniority than me.  It’s a job that she doesn’t want at all.  She has never in her career taught in a special education classroom, let alone one with kids as involved as my kids are.  On top of that, she has no desire to teach my kids, and she makes no bones about it.  This doesn’t make her a bad teacher or a bad person…we just all have our passions and our talents.
• All of this sucks on it’s own, but what makes it suck even more is that those of us in early childhood could still go back to our original positions.  So, even though there are two weeks until school starts, I could still get my job back!  Like I said, I won’t get into the hairy details as to how that all works, but our program is partially grant-funded.  When our grant funding comes through, we can call our teachers back.
• So, I’m currently sitting here biting my nails and hoping that I can go back to my job.  In the meantime, I’m kind of paralyzed.  I don’t want to go work in my Kindergarten classroom if I’m not going to be there, and I certainly can’t start working in my early childhood classroom since I don’t know for sure if I’ll be there.
• The hardest part is that we know we have our funding.  We’re just waiting on politicians and administrators to get their acts together.  Barring anything really crazy happening, I can have my job back.  Still, I won’t feel better until I know for sure.

So, yeah.  In addition to trying to plan for maternity leave, being exhausted from being 30 weeks pregnant, and trying to prepare for my babies, I’m also compulsively checking my work e-mail for any signs of an update.  Le sigh.

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!  Pretend like there’s a drumroll!  The winner of a brand new Tempur-Cloud Supreme is…Melinda!  Major congrats to Melinda!  Be sure to check out her fantastic video…

Now, don’t scurry away just yet.  Didn’t win?  That’s ok!  All of the videos that you submitted were so wonderful, that we wouldn’t want you to leave empty handed.  Every person who entered the contest will be getting a Tempur-Pedic All Purpose Pillow!!  (Please note:  one per person.)

Doesn’t it look super comfy?

For those of you who submitted a video, I will be passing your e-mail addresses on to the contest sponsors.  They will be contacting you to collect your information, and then you’ll get your fantastic prize!  Please be sure to respond with your contact information by September 1st.

Finally, for those of you lucky enough to be going to BlogHer this year, be sure to stop by and visit Tempur-Pedic.  They will be hanging out in America’s Hall 1 at the Hilton…and they will be giving away two mattresses to one lucky blogger!  One to keep, and one for her to use as a giveaway.

Thanks again to everyone who entered the giveaway.  I really loved watching all of your entries!

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Disclosure: I have partnered with Tempur-Pedic to help promote the Tempur-Cloud-Supreme mattress.  I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes writing about my own experiences regarding sleep and its relation to overall well being, and hosting a giveaway where the prize has been provided by Tempur-Pedic.  However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive comments.

How Far Along: 29 Weeks, 4 Days.  We are getting so close to the end that it’s freaky.  Even though my due date is October 16th, I’m just hoping to make it to October 1st.

How Big are the Babies: Apparently my babies are like butternut squash this week.  Fun for them.  They are about 15.25 inches long.  30 inches of baby in there?  Wow.  Today at their growth scan, Baby A weighed 2 pounds, 15 ounces.  Baby B weighed in at 2 pounds, 14 ounces.  They are growing beautifully.  I don’t have any decent pictures from today’s scan, but I did get to see that their little feet are close together, and that their heads are next to each other.  I bet they are in there plotting how to drive mommy crazy!

Total Weight Gain: I’m up to 149 pounds.  I thought that I was 130 at the beginning of my pregnancy, but according to my medical records I was 128.  So, I’ve gained 21 pounds at this point!

Maternity Clothes: Yup, though I still spend most of my time in tanks and pajama shorts.  This is going to have to change when I start back at work in a few weeks.  I really hope to avoid having to run out and buy more clothes for the last few weeks of my pregnancy, but it may be unavoidable….or I’ll just wear the same clothes all the time!

Stretch Marks: Nope, though my belly button looks disgusting.

Sleep: Well, I’m pretty comfortable in bed, which is awesome, but I do a lot of tossing and turning.  I think I roll over at least once an hour.  And, of course, I have to get up to pee.

Movement: I’ve got some fairly active girls.  Baby A is my bladder/cervix kicker.  She even kicked the OB while he was checking my cervix the other day.  Baby B like to wedge herself up under my ribs which is all kinds of comfortable.

Food Cravings: Ugh.  I am absolutely sick and tired of thinking about food, tracking my food, talking about food, and planning my life around food.  I have to plan my whole day around what time I’m allowed to eat and what time I’ll need to check my glucose levels.  It’s more than a little annoying, especially because I end up getting insanely hungry and crabby while waiting the two hours after my meals to check my glucose before I can eat again.  So, I’ve started a running list of things I want as soon as the babies are born.  Let’s see…a blizzard, brownies, apple juice, a gallon iced chai, a cherry icee, lemonade…you get the idea.  Not like I ever ate these things non-stop, but not being able to have them is making me crazy.  If you come visit me in the hospital, you will be required to relinquish a cupcake to me before entering the room.

What I Miss: Being able to eat when I want to!  Isn’t it a pregnant woman’s right to eat when she’s hungry????

What I’m Looking Forward To: We are painting the girls’ room this weekend!!!  Of course, by “we” I mean Ted.  I’ll just pop in now and again to supervise and photograph.  I’m so excited to get their room ready…and to move all of this baby crap out of my living room!

Milestones: Ummm…well…I switched OBs this week.  I guess that’s a pretty big milestone.  I was also the joyful recipient of my RhoGAM shot since I am Rh negative.  Nothing like a good shot in the ass!

Twin Stuff: Well, we’ve got a lot of it.  It seems to be taking over our house!  We’ve been busy buying up the things we still need…and a few things that are just cute too!  Ted put the stroller together yesterday, and he even busted out the car seats so we could have the full effect.

Isn’t it huge?  I swear, it didn’t seem that big in the store!  Still, it’s a fantastic stroller.  I love that I can use it as a frame and add the car seats for when they are little.  Plus, it has actual stroller seats for when the girls are older.  Swoon.

Dog Stuff: The dogs are insane.  So many things are changing for them.  I feel bad, but we are giving them lots of love in the meantime.  We are also making sure that they are getting used to not having a schedule.  They used to eat at very specific times in the morning and at night.  Not anymore.  They still get two meals, but they eat when we get to it.  Our next big plan is to practice walking with the stroller.  Is it weird to walk an empty baby stroller down the street?  Maybe, but how else are the dogs going to learn?

Oh, and THIS: Pregnancy is supposed to make your hair awesome.  Well, my hair is certainly thicker than it was, which is totally not a perk for me, but it’s also disgusting.  I have horrific dandruff, and my hair is super greasy.  There isn’t much point in doing anything with it besides throwing it up into a ponytail because it is just that disgusting.  Yuck.

If you follow me on Twitter, you are probably already aware, but I’ve gone and done something that few women in their third trimester ever do…

I switched OBs.

Trust me when I say that this was not an easy decision, especially so late in my pregnancy.  Still, it had to be done, and I feel really good about my decision.  The more I think about it, the more I realize it’s been a long time coming.  Don’t get me wrong…I loved some of the doctors that I saw at my old OB, but there was always something that felt…off…about my care.  At first I thought it was just because I was spoiled rotten at my REs office, but after visiting with my new OB today, I’ve come to realize that it felt strange there for a reason.  So, what led to this third trimester switch?  A couple of things…

1.  They wanted my thyroid monitored, but they didn’t want to do it themselves.  I didn’t think anything of this at first, but my family doctor thought it was strange that they just wouldn’t do their own blood draws to monitor my thyroid.  He even went so far as to call them up while I was there to confirm that he should be the one monitoring me during my pregnancy.  Weird, but I let it go.

2.  Back when I was about 16 weeks pregnant, I ended up having horrible, horrible back pain at work.  I was literally in tears because it hurt so bad.  I was still having some cramping at that point too, and I got nervous.  The maternal-fetal specialist had told me to call my OB immediately if I ever had even a single sign of preterm labor…so I did.  After passing me around from person to person and keeping me on the phone for more than half an hour…the OB nurse sent me to my family doctor with what she assumed was a bladder infection.  Strange?  I thought so.  Turned out my back pain was just regular pregnancy back pain, but the whole experience left me feeling odd.

3.  Since my cervix looks so great, the maternal-fetal specialists decided that I didn’t need to come in for transvaginal ultrasounds twice a month.  Yay!  They wrote a letter to the OB stating that a cervical check at my regular OB appointments would do just fine unless there was a change.  I had two appointments…and no one checked my cervix.  Not even when I asked.  I also had to ask for my Rho-Gam shot, which they never did either.

4.  Of course, how could we forget the whole gestational diabetes debacle.  Getting lectured by a nurse about what a big responsibility pregnancy is?  Not cool.  Later, I called back to speak to another nurse and to get my questions answered, and I got the same crap.  When I went in to see the doctor because I really felt it was important to get my questions answered, it was like pulling teeth to get any kind of information.  If they were too busy and important to answer my questions about gestational diabetes, what would delivery be like?

After all of this, I just wasn’t comfortable there anymore.  I felt like no one was listening to me, and I was concerned that the staff really didn’t seem to take my questions seriously.  So, I talked to Ted, and we decided to go ahead and make a change.  Many people I have spoken to who had concerns about their care have told me that they wish they had switched during their pregnancy instead of waiting it out.  Even though it was scary, it was absolutely worth it!

I had my first appointment at my new office today, and I am really happy.  The whole staff was great.  The doctor answered all of my questions and told me what an awesome job I was doing taking care of my girls!  I also had an interesting conversation with the nurse since parts of my medical records were incomplete.  When she inquired about my previous practice, she mad a face at my answer.  She then said that many of the doctors there were great, but that the whole medical group had really grown too big for it’s own good.  She told me that she felt that patient care there was suffering…and I had to agree.

So, now I have to get to know a whole new practice of doctors over the next few weeks.  Not ideal, but I definitely feel a lot more comfortable at my new practice than I did at the old practice.