the state that i am in » Evolution of a Blog

01.03.10 Evolution of a Blog

Since I began writing about infertility, I’ve gotten a lot of e-mail. Most of the e-mails are kind and supportive, some offer very strange advice, and quite a few ask for advice themselves. A few weeks ago, I got an e-mail that I thought was rather odd.. The sentence that struck me the most, was this:

“I’ve been reading you for a while now, and I miss your old blog. The infertility stuff is ok, but it’s a little too personal for my taste. I wish you would go back to your old blog.”

I’ve been sitting on this e-mail for weeks now, unsure of how to respond. I’ll admit I was a little offended and hurt, and I wanted to tell the reader she could stop reading my blog any time she wanted to. Still, the e-mail did get me thinking about my blog and it’s evolution.

I started this blog in 2004, just a few weeks after my wedding, so the state that i am in has been with me as long as I’ve been married. The name has remained the same, but we’ve been through a lot of changes together. I started out with Blogger, and I lost all my posts when I made the move to Typepad in November of 2005. That was back when Blogger didn’t allow you to export posts. I eventually moved to WordPress.com, and now I’m all fancy and use self-hosted WordPress.

I started this blog back in 2004 because an acquaintance had one, and I thought it sounded fun. I have no idea what I wrote about in those first months of blogging, and I’m a little sad that I don’t have those posts to look back on anymore. Still, I’ve always written about the current state of my life. When I first started teaching, I wrote about my job all the time. When we bought a house, I wrote about that. And we all know I’ve posted about nine million pictures of my darling pups. So, yes, my blog has been through a lot of changes.

I’m proud, though, that I’ve maintained this blog through the many evolutions of my own life. So many blogs simply die out when life circumstances change. My blog and I have evolved together, and I’m so happy that we have. This blog is not the same blog that it was 5 years ago, or even 5 months ago because I’m not the same person I was 5 months ago. This blog is going to continue to grow and change as I grow and change.

I named my blog the state that i am in after a Belle and Sebastian song of the same title. Amazingly enough, back then when I knew nothing about blogging, I chose a title that could grow and change with me. Genius. Seriously, though, I do and will continue to write about my current state of being. That means my blog will continue to change as I change. I won’t always be writing about the same topics, but I will always be me. So, if it’s me that you are here for, stick around. I’m not going anywhere.

I’ll be stickin’ around

Your blog should change with you. If that particular reader doesn’t like it, tell them to look elsewhere for reading. (I’d also have a few other choice things to tell them, but that’s just me.) I think you are fabulous and when all is said and done, it’s YOUR blog. Write about whatever YOU want.

xo
.-= Lauren From Texas´s last blog ..You let our love fern die! =-.

I’ll read whatever you want to write because I adore you no matter what.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Spreading some …mmmagic =-.

Obviously, any blog name deriving from Belle & SEBASTIAN has my vote.

Your blog is one of the most PERSONAL out there. It should be about you and the state of your life. If It wasn’t, it wouldn’t be your blog…

Keep on truckin’.
.-= Sebastian´s last blog ..My favourite teenage moment, involving glue and boners =-.

I love reading about the state that you are in, from when I found you & you were writing about your word to where you are now.

I’m a fan of you.
.-= Kyla Roma´s last blog ..Relaunch! =-.

Dear email writer,
Erin is much too nice to point out the most obvious part of her blog to you….the title. She is writing about the state she is in right now which is dealing with a very very very hard battle.

If you think reading it is too personal maybe you should think about what it’s like to try living it.

Sincerely,
Another infertility woman that would have been greatly offended if you had sent me that email

Love this. I got a similar email a few months ago. Personally, I just had to go through my archives to fix all my pictures, and, um… they made me want to punch myself in my face.

I’ll stay right where I am, thanks. And so shall you, and NOBODY will tell us otherwise.
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..Your Weekend Dose of the Fugly, v17 =-.

This is your blog and therefore, you’re in control of how personal or impersonal it becomes. Anyone who is unhappy with it can simply stop reading. It’s a little ridiculous to tell a blogger what they should or shouldn’t write.

Luckily this e-mailer is in the minority because I know there are many more fans of your blog who’ll continue to read it no matter what you choose to say, including me.
.-= Cait´s last blog ..social media tidbits. =-.

This is YOUR blog about YOUR life. We would be reading lies if you weren’t writing about what is bothering you, what you’re going through and what you think about. And I think this person who wrote the email should understand that you are brave enough to share this with your readers, and respect that. Like you said, if they are tired of you writing about what you’re going through, they can read another blog.
.-= Lacey Bean´s last blog ..Harry Potter Fest-a-Thon!! =-.

Is this person who emailed you a human? people change all the time. Your blog isn’t designed to be all about a specific topic. It’s YOUR blog so of course we all enjoy reading about whatever you write about your life because you’re amazing!
.-= steph anne´s last blog ..A Decade of Love =-.

i think all personal blogs should evolve with the writer. otherwise, it’s not honest or truly personal. if people want to see a less personal blog, they are more than welcome to write their own blogs… i may not always relate, but i stick around. to me it’s not just lending my support to your struggle, it’s also supporting your desire/ability to be that personal
.-= michelle´s last blog ..happy new year, everyone! =-.

Haha. I had a short and sweet comment, but when I clicked submit, it gave me an error saying that it was “too” short and I needed to try again.

So, now that I wrote all about what happened when I tried to submit my comment – here’s all I really wanted to say. LOL.

Well said.

As everyone else has said – the blog should change and grow with you, and it’s no one’s business to tel you what you should or shouldn’t be writing – or even what they’d rather be hearing about from you! It’s about the state YOU are in – not them. Your blog title pretty clearly conveys that it’s nobody’s business but your own. Let ‘em keep reading if & when they want, & stop if & when they want. That’s what “mark all as read” is for!
.-= Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..Recapping 2009 – Retro Reviews from the Great Brunch Tour =-.

“the state that i am in” deserves no further explanation. The state that you are in right now is IF, and all of your readers should understand that. If they don’t they should stop reading. Above anything else, this blog is for you and not other people. You should write about how you feel and what you are going through. That’s what makes a good blog… well, GOOD!

That said, you know I’ll keep reading!
.-= Katie´s last blog ..off on the wrong foot =-.

Not going anywhere! What a rude e-mail for someone to send…
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Best of – the rest… =-.

I adore your blog, the way you write and reading about the state that you are in. Blogs should change and evolve with us, because lets face it, we as people change and evolve so its only natural that your little space on the internet should too.

I’m happily sticking around your place for as long as you want to continue writing.

You can’t please everyone. I’m funny(it’s true) and sarcastic but the second I say anything that is like regular (not funny) people are all, woah woah woah don’t get all grown up on us. Be you. that’s cool.

Bravo, Erin

To share so much of yourself takes courage and is a true gift to your readers.
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Toddlers =-.

I like you, just the way you are. And if/when you change, I will like you then as well.

Loves,
xox
.-= heidikins´s last blog ..Confessions of a Bookaholic: Books Read in 2009 =-.

I think it’s great that you’ve had your blog for so long and that it’s been able to adapt to the situation you’re in. And it’s your blog, you get to write about whatever you want. We’re just along for the ride.
.-= Ari´s last blog ..for the birds =-.

As everyone’s said… personal blogs should grow with you…

I love seeing adorable puppy posts as much as everyone one else, but well, yeah. Definitely not why I come to your blog.
.-= Erini CS´s last blog ..2010: Year of the Cupcake =-.

Wow. What nerve of a person to send an e-mail like that! One of the things I love most about your blog is how personal you are and REAL about your infertility battle. This is the biggest struggle in your life right now, WHY WOULDN’T YOU WRITE ABOUT THAT?!

What’s wrong with this person? If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to follow you. Simple as that. That e-mail was extremely unnecessary. (And I sincerely hope she’s reading all these comments!)

Should you not write about the largest thing happening in your life right now?? And you do still post about your pups and other random stuff and it is still in your style…and that is what is important!
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Happy New Year! =-.

Wow. That email was totally uncalled for and out of line. Blogs always evolve as life does. And it’s more authentic to write about who you are rather than cater to just what others want. Yes, your blog has evolved, but so has everyone else’s. Unreal. I love you JUST the way you are.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Weekend recap: New Years, baby whisperer and congestion =-.

Wow, I can’t believe someone actually sent that message. I LOVE your blog and I LOVE that you are real and true here. I’ve never dealt with infertility, but through you wonderful writing and sharing of emotion, I feel like a get a sense of it and I think that is so important. You just keep doing what you do because you’re fab!
.-= Classroom Confessions´s last blog ..NYC Christmas Day 7- December 29, 2009 =-.

I love that your blog changes with your life. Who wants to read about the same thing all the time?
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..I Said No (And I Feel Really Good About It) =-.

It is a very smart title for a blog that’s going to follow you through life – from married life, infertility, to pregnancy (hopefully very soon), kids. Obviously you’re going to grow and change through these life stages and your blog’s going to reflect that. Anything besides that isn’t authentic or honest blog..and then what’s the point?? Keep doing what you do
.-= Al´s last blog ..Okay, I’m going to talk about pregnancy… =-.

I love reading everything you write, and you’re one of the few bloggers who is always without a doubt exactly who you are. Kisses!
.-= Phil´s last blog ..Don’t You Mess Around With Me =-.

We can only write about what we know. And being that infertility is such a big topic in your life right now, it’d be untrue to yourself to stop writing about it.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..In My Own Way =-.

(Just visiting for the first time, found you on a blogroll)

I would have been slightly annoyed to receive this email actually, especially I assume it’s an issue that is important and part of your life.

People are strange sometimes… like you say, if you don’t like it, just stop reading!

Too personal?! Isn’t that the point of a blog?!

What a weirdo! I don’t understand people sometimes. SIGH. I’m sorry that person emailed you such a rude message!

I think writing about your infertility and journey to get your squishy little baby makes perfect sense — like you said, it’s the state that you are in right now. It’s a big part of your life. I think it’s really neat that your blog is changing with you and that it will continue to change as you live your life.

Oh, and I think it’s too cool you named your blog after a Belle & Sebastian song. Genius idea! I love them too much!

did my comment disappear? I saw it when I posted it, but now I can’t?

I hope you got it! Let me know if not.
xo
.-= Caz´s last blog ..A year of epic proportions… =-.

I love this! You’ve got yourself another follower. Your blog is you and whatever “state your are in” truly genius blog name.
.-= Grace´s last blog ..Dia de los Reyes y Mi Cumpleaños =-.

If a blog didn’t change and evolve, it wouldn’t make very interesting reading.

BTW, I love your blog’s name.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Music for the Soul =-.

Good for you! I’m here from Mel’s round-up and glad that I found you. Sounds like some interesting reading here! Life is amazing and crazy and painful and joyful and all kinds of things. Blogging about only one aspect is so hard. I struggle with this personally and I’m always so pleased to find others who seem to have effortlessly found a way to express themselves without limiting themselves.

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