the state that i am in » Ted’s Side of the Story

12.14.09 Ted’s Side of the Story

For a while now, I’ve been wanting to have Ted share his thoughts on this whole infertility journey. Well, I finally got my act together and sent him some questions to answer…and he actually answered them! So, here are some thoughts from Ted…

What sort of medical things have you had to do as a part of the fertility process? Really all that I had to do was provide “samples.” Aside from time spent in waiting rooms that is. Honestly, I feel kind of guilty about it. I know how much you have sacrificed and wish that there was more that I could do to make the process easier.

What has been the most difficult part of this process for you? The worst part would have to be how powerless the whole situation makes me feel. There is nothing harder than watching my wife suffer and not being able to do anything to solve the problem.

How do you feel this has affected our marriage? It has certainly added an additional source of stress in our marriage, and there are times when that stress bubbles over, but in a way it has also brought us closer together. I think that hardship ultimately strengthens or breaks a relationship because it forces a couple to rediscover the ways in which they can help and support each other. So, yes, there have been hard days, but we get through them by relying on each other and making sure to take time to decompress and enjoy just being together.

Do you think your wife is a little crazy for doing this? No. There are certainly people out there who think that if it doesn’t just happen, then it wasn’t meant to be. I am not one of those. We’re doing what is best and easiest (and medically responsible) to achieve our goal of becoming parents.

Are you as anxious to be a parent as I am? Honestly, probably not. I want to have children. I am ready for that experience/challenge/blessing now and look forward to it, but I don’t think that I can match that deep down painful need that I know you have. Though I will say that those stupid Kay commercials where they have their “first Christmas” at 2 am because the baby isn’t sleeping and the husband can’t wait to give his wife some ugly brown diamonds have more of an effect on me lately than I would like to admit in public.

What are you most looking forward to about being a parent? It’s hard to say. At the risk of sounding overly cheesy, I think mostly the experience of watching (and being a part of) the development of life. Also, just some of the basics; bedtime stories, “having a catch,” helping with homework, etc…

So, there you have it. I have the best husband in the whole world!

You really do have the best husband in the whole world! He seems so sweet and supportive…you are a lucky girl! <3
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He is wonderful And I’m glad I’m not alone with those Kay commercials! My stomach clenches every time I see one.
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He’s so sweet
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IF and I say if because most likely mine wouldn’t, but if my husband did fill something like this out for me we wouldn’t have gone into any detail or expanded on anything more than just a yes or no answer to these questions. So yes, your husband is pretty great.

What a guy. I know having his support means the world to you, and I am so glad he is there with you every step of the way. You two will make such a wonderful parenting team, and I can’t wait to see it happen.
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Beachy peace =-.

Such a great post. I love reading the “other side” of things. Sounds like you have a fantastic husband! And I agree with him on the Kay commercials…those really get to me. It’s just embarrassing that a commercial can evoke such emotion!!
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He’s a keeper!
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He’s really wonderful. I know some guys who just can be so inconsiderate about it. Not in your case, you’re lucky and he’s so lucky to have you. All the best really
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What an amazing man you have in your life! He’s definitely a keeper. Of course, I think you already knew that. Smile!
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Very sweet. You have an amazing husband and he will make a wonderful dad!!!!

You have an amazing, supportive husband!
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This brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful, supportive husband!
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This is so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes. You have a wonderful husband, Erin! (And I totally agree with him about those stupid Kay commercials. UGH!) This is encouraging me to try and get my husband to write a blog post about “his side.” We’ll see if he goes for it.

This is so adorable! Aww, Ted!
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Very sweet. Yay Ted! You make such a fabulous match.
.-= Elle Bee´s last blog ..Home Sweet… oh shit. =-.

Wow! Ted sounds amazing and sweet! You are so blessed to have each other! (Does he have a brother?) lol! j/k. But seriously, I need to find a man like that.
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This entire post made me cry, in a good way, at my desk.

I’m so glad you have Ted by your side during this difficult time.

I must meet him.
Hugs, as always.
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What a wonderful post – and I agree, you are both blessed to have each other and such a solid relationship while being faced with such difficulty. You’re both going to be the best parents ever!

And am I the only one who HASN’T seen the Kay commercial?? I’m going to have to hit up YouTube just to see what all the fuss is about!
.-= Emily Jane´s last blog ..Emily and Delia =-.

You do have the best husband in the world. I also hate those f***ing Kay commercials. Marketing people have no idea how painful those things can be for people in this position. And the necklace is, as Ted pointed out, ugly.
I think this has been one of my favorite of your posts on this subject. It helps to get a guy’s point of view. Thanks.

I wish I could get my DH to write about this, even if just in his own journal (which I bought him years ago and he’s never opened). I know how he feels and that he’s deeply affected by IF too, but I wish it were on paper somewhere so the memory doesn’t fade. What a sweet DH you have to contribute to your blog!

This was a cool entry, I enjoyed it. I made my husband read it and he agreed with most of what he said
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Wow, way to go Ted on being brave enough to put your feelings out there!
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Great idea, Erin! Good to hear from you, Ted!

P.S. I love your Christmas card! Such cute little pups you have! They look all innocent and “nice list” worthy!

Hearing Ted’s side of the story is def interesting. Especially because I was just asking you about it!
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Definately a keeper.

You guys are incredible.
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Oooh Erin he’s SO cute!
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I love when blogs are turned over to our “other halves” for things like this. Love it. So sweet, his love for you and hope for your future shines through so brilliantly.
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You are both so amazing for sharing this part of your lives like this.

You seriously do have THE best husband. And he was so very honest with your questions. That’s awesome.
.-= MinD´s last blog ..SAT, the steroid edition. =-.

(Am responding to blog posts in reverse order as I catch up)

The thing that really struck me about this post was how honest Ted was on the question about being anxious to be a parent. It must take guts to admit that his longing may not be as in-the-bones as yours. And it must take serious heart for him to know how deep yours runs and to be so unconditionally supportive even though he feels it differently.

That’s worded funny. I hope you know what I meant there. It’s early.
.-= Rebekah´s last blog ..Does he wear girls’ pajamas or something? =-.

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