the state that i am in » About that Turkey Baster…

11.08.09 About that Turkey Baster…

Several of you have e-mailed me about the turkey basting. I’m sorry it took me so long to post this, but things have been a little crazy. Let me start out by saying that I do not know yet if I am pregnant. It takes a few weeks to find out, so cool your jets and let me do all the anxious worrying. Now, without further ado, the state that i am in is proud to present: A Date With a Turkey Baster.

I had three vagina-cams the week of October 26th, and more blood work than a girl could ever want. I waited anxiously by my phone at 2:30 every day to hear the results of my lab work, and to hopefully find out when my inseminations would be. At my appointment on Friday, the 30th, I was told that everything was looking good, I had several nice follicles, and that I would likely have my inseminations over the weekend. They would call me in the afternoon to confirm.

Cut to 6 p.m. Friday night. I am a hysterical mess because I have still not received a phone call. I called at 3:30 and was told that the lab results had come in late, and that I would get a phone call after the 4 p.m. meeting. Of course, all I can do is call the answering service and whine because the office closed at 4:30!

About 6:45, I got my phone call. I had several follicles that were ready to be released (this means a chance for multiples! yikes!), and I should take my HCG shot that night. My inseminations would be at 11 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday.

I had to stay up until midnight to give myself a shot because of the stupid time change that weekend. Everything is carefully coordinated, down to the minute, so that was a pain. Not, however, as big of a pain as there was from a 1.5 inch needle going into my ass. I will admit to a minor (or major) meltdown in the bathroom over the shot. I ended up having to lay on the bed and cover my head with a pillow while Ted did the injection. Let me tell you that, my friends, is love.

So, Saturday arrived (my birthday), and we had to get up bright and early to drive to the only office that was open on the weekends. First, though, I had to put on my official insemination t-shirt:

We picked up some donuts, and drove over an hour to the office. We got there at about 10 a.m., and Ted had to go in to leave his, well, stuff to get “washed” for the insemination. Then we headed out to a local Borders to kill the hour we had to wait for the insemination.

I was very curious as to whether or not there were magazines provided for Ted. He said there were, and this prompted fits of giggles on my part. Yes, I’m twelve. Mostly, though, I was giggling just picturing my sweet nurse getting to work in the morning, finding the adult magazines, and laying them out. Hilarious!

When we got back to the doctor’s office, it was time to inseminate. It goes something like this:

Put feet in stirrups.
In goes the speculum (no lube because it’s bad for the sperm).
Jam speculum around in your hoo-ha for a while.
Once nurse has worked her way into your inner cervix, thread a long-ass catheter into your uterus.
Inject sperm with syringe.
Take all the equipment out.
Lay around for a while.
Come back and do it again on Sunday.

Now, on Saturday, the whole experience was really not so bad. A little more uncomfortable than a regular gyne exam, but not bad. I was told there would be some cramping, but I was really ok. Sunday, was a whole new story. My cervix was not happy to see the speculum again, and I started some horrible cramping as soon as the catheter went in. Imagine the worst period cramps you’ve ever had…I guarantee this was 10 times worse. The cramping continued most of the day on Sunday, along with some spotting. My cervix was really sore too.

I feel mostly fine now, but my ovaries are still uncomfortable from the drugs. Let’s just hope I haven’t developed cysts that would prevent me from trying again next month if this month didn’t work.

Now, I’m in the middle of the two-week wait. I’m constantly anxious and on edge. Please don’t tell me to try not to think about it. You try not thinking about it. I spend my time analyzing every little twinge my body makes…maybe I’m pregnant….maybe I’m not. It’s exhausting.

So, that’s where we’re at right now. Just waiting. It seems like we’re always waiting.

Hope, hope, hope for good news soon
.-= Allie´s last blog ..Flash (and looking for subjects) =-.

Good luck!

I love your blog!
.-= abena´s last blog ..The Mooncup Revelation =-.

I LOVE YOUR SHIRT.

And you, but you knew that already. Crossing my fingers for you.

What did they have to wash his semen for? That sounds so weird!
.-= Angela´s last blog ..Sheesh! =-.

Praying that you get good news soon!!
.-= Meg´s last blog ..New blog! =-.

Fingers crossed! Good luck!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..A Simple Plea… =-.

Waiting is so hard! I’m thinking about you. You are awesome to share your story on your blog. Think happy, preggy thoughts.
.-= Jen V.´s last blog ..Party Prep! =-.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!!

That shirt is fantastic! I love it!

I’m praying for baby news and believe me, I would never tell or even THINK of telling you not to think about it! This is an exciting, anxious time for you guys so of course you’re going to think about it!

Your shirt is hilarious! I really hope this works out for you. I’ll keep you and your cramping uterus in my prayers.
.-= bFlat´s last blog ..Latest Etsy Obsession: LBD Accessories =-.

Love the shirt and you!
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..p.s. =-.

Your shirt is awesome. I’m pulling for you

Also? I had a colpo once and my DUDE doctor was like, “you might feel some mild cramping,” and it was THE WORST PAIN EVER, and I wanted to be like, “Let me kick you in the balls and tell you how I THINK it feels and you see if that makes you feel ok about it.”

Needless to say, well, owie.

Heart you.
.-= Doniree´s last blog ..Pleased to Meet Me* =-.

I love your shirt!! I’ll be praying!
.-= Tracie´s last blog ..-Honest Scrap =-.

So glad I finally got to see the shirt!

Sounds like a crazy experience. I’m crossing my fingers for you! You are ADORABLE in that shirt, by the way!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it =-.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. And I LOVE that shirt. Seriously so cute. You guys always make the cutest shirts.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Weekend recap: No sense of direction =-.

I LOVE your shirt. And I will keep praying for you
.-= Emily Jane´s last blog ..Future Nostalgia, or Why I Hate Louis Walsh =-.

I’m sending you baby vibes right now!

And the shirt is adorable
.-= jenniferalaine´s last blog ..fragile. =-.

Good luck…am thinking of you!!

Your shirt is so awesome! I love it. Did you get a lot of comments on it?

So the magazines are really there, eh? Wow! I wouldn’t like to be the person who cleans that room. It’s kind of creepy to think that every man who goes in there uses it for one purpose… Wow! Ted is a trooper!

Best wishes, as always!
.-= Britt´s last blog ..Sunday Snapshot – They Were Supposed to be Spiders =-.

I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..25 =-.

That shirt is AMAZING.

good luck good luck good luck. im thinking happy baby thoughts for you
.-= michelle´s last blog ..well that wasnt what i expected =-.

I’ve got my fingers crossed!
.-= Megan´s last blog ..One Semester Closer =-.

Oh gosh, you are so brave! I admire your spirit and determination to get through this and I know it will turn out for the best… still praying for the both of you!

Btw, your shirt= AMAZING!!
.-= Classroom Confessions´s last blog ..San Fran Wonderful Whirlwind Weekend! =-.

I can only imagine the thoughts storming around your brain. My older sister when through in vitro a few years ago, so I can understand the stress and anticipation. My thoughts are with you!

You know how I feel. Thinking of you constantly in your wait. I know it is SO FRUSTRATING and hard!

Sending all the prayers and positive vibes constantly!

I have all of my fingers and toes crossed for you, and I am willing Friday to come super fast!

My comment wouldn’t post. It went away. Sad face.

It went something like this:

Best of luck hun! I’m certainly keeping my fingers crossed, like everyone else. And I adore the tee-shirt. Maybe it’ll help with the good vibes.
.-= MinD´s last blog ..Oink. Oink. =-.

I’m sending you all the positivity and good thoughts I can muster. And that T-shirt is adorable.

I’m here if you ever want to chat!
.-= E.P.´s last blog ..Not amused =-.

I love that t-shirt!! And just reading that post makes my cervix hurt! Ouch… you and Ted are definitely brave for going through all this. My fingers are still crossed for you!
.-= steph anne´s last blog ..Protected: Moving On & Trying Not To Look Back… =-.

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